Phone Anxiety: When a Call Stresses You Out (2024)

Many people don't like talking on the phone. However, if your hesitance to make and receive calls causes symptoms of severe anxiety such as shortness of breath or a racing heart, you might have phone anxiety. Telephobia—the fear of making or answering phone calls—is common among those with social anxiety disorder (SAD). and sometimes reflects other issues regarding interaction with others.

Symptoms of Phone Anxiety

You might have phone anxiety if you:

• Avoid making calls or havingothers call you
• Delay making or answering phone calls
• Obsess aboutwhat was said after calls
• Stress about embarrassing yourself
• Worry about bothering the other person
• Worry about what you will say

Physical symptoms of phone anxiety may include:

• Increased heart rate
• Nausea
• Shaking
• Trouble concentrating

Although answering the phone and making calls may seem like a simple task that everyone should be able to do, it is terrifying for those who have phone anxiety. This fear can be disruptive to both your personal and professional lives, so taking it seriously is important.

Treatment for Phone Anxiety

Treatment for phone anxiety can include cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) techniques such as cognitive restructuring and exposure training, along with self-help strategies.

Cognitive Restructuring

Cognitive restructuring involves challenging beliefs and replacing negative thoughts with more constructive alternatives.

Why would the person answer the phone if he was too busy? Why would he have asked you to call if he didn't want to talk to you? Eventually, you would reach the conclusion that it is unlikely you are bothering the other person or that he doesn't want to speak with you.

Exposure Training

Exposure training involves the gradual practice of progressively more difficult behaviors . In the case of phone anxiety, a hierarchy of fears might look something like the one below (listed from easiest to most difficult). Each behavior is practiced until you are comfortable and can move on to the next most difficult one.

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Sample Hierarchy for Phone Anxiety

Below is an example hierarchy for someone who gets nervous interacting over the phone:

1. Calling a number that you know will only have a recorded message, like a customer service line
2. Calling a family member or friend that you know well
3. Calling a business and asking a straightforward question, such as when they close
4. Calling someone that you don't know well with a simple question
5. Calling someone that you don't know well about a complicated issue
6. Making each of the previous types of calls in front of one person
7. Making each of the previous types of calls in front of a group of people

Creating a hierarchy to deal with the fear of answering calls can be tricky. If you typically avoid answering the phone, you might note who is calling before answering. Then, start by answering calls from people you're comfortable with; let other calls go to voicemail. Eventually, you might progress to answering more difficult calls.

Coping Strategies

For the best possible outcome, practice cognitive-behavioral techniques under the supervision of a trained therapist. If meeting with a CBT counselor isn't possible, or if you have already participated in CBT and are looking for additional ways to cope, try the following strategies.

• Smile. Before making and receiving calls, put a smile on your face. This may sound silly, but it helps you relax and conveys pleasantness to the person you're speaking with.
• Reward yourself. After making difficult calls, reward yourself by doing something you enjoy.
• Visualize success. Imagine a positive conversation and feeling good afterward.
• Ascertain availability. If you are concerned about interrupting someone when you call, ask whether you're catching the person at a bad time. This gives them the chance to offer to call you back.
• Don't overthink it. If someone says "no" or turns down a request, realize that it might have nothing to do with you personally. Try not to read too much into someone else's actions.
• Prepare. Don't go overboard, though. Plan what you'll say, but remember that the conversation may not go exactly as you anticipate. Write the important parts down and keep them handy.
• Let it go to voicemail. You don't always have to answer the phone. If someone calls you at a bad time or if you're too anxious to talk, let calls go to voicemail occasionally.
• Try another communication method. The phone isn't always the best method of communication. If you want to have a digital record of your conversation or give the other person time to reflect before responding, email might be the better choice. However, for something emotional or complex, a phone call or face-to-face meeting might be best.

The Takeaway

Phone anxiety is problematic, but these coping strategies can help. If your fear of making and receiving phone calls extends to social interaction in general or into other areas of your life, however, consider consulting a mental health professional. They can offer effective treatment that helps you communicate and interact without fear.